Thursday, October 11, 2012

Those tiny moments of heartbreak

"Mommy, no kisses today."

Sam told me this as we pulled into the parking lot at his preschool today. My heart broke just a little bit.

It's the second time.

A few weeks ago, he waited until I was ready to hug and kiss him as I left him in his classroom. Then he went back to wanting the hugs and kisses.

He's 4. It's only a matter of time until he, like Wil, doesn't want anyone to see him getting hugs and kisses from Mommy.

I'm glad my boys are growing up and becoming more confident. But there's that little part of me that misses the unrestrained displays of affection.

They still happen from time to time, like yesterday when Sam came looking for me just to kiss me, leaving a smear of lip balm on my cheek.

And we have their new bedtime knock knock jokes:

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wil who?
 Will you hug me?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sam who?
Same for me!

I'm not a baby person. I have always looked forward to them growing up and being real people. My goal is for them to be independent.

I'm glad Sam feels confident enough at school not to need the kissing hand or even a hug from me to get through the day. 

But it still hurts a little. 

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