Acknowledgements

Yesterday I read this post from Bobak Ferdowski, also known as Mohawk Guy, the NASA engineer at JPL made famous by the Mars Curiosity landing. It's a good post. Go ahead and read it.

Anyway, it reminded me that I've had a lot of help getting through this semester. And I'll have a lot more help over the next 4 1/2 years as I work toward my degree.

So I'd like to say thank you as the semester winds up.

I took two classes this semester. A full graduate load would be three, so I am not nearly as busy as many of the graduate students I know. I don't know how they do it, because two has been a little overwhelming.

When I started graduate school, Chris became the primary contact for boys' school. He has had to adjust his schedule to come home early on Thursdays this semester, since my class goes to 5:15 and the boys get home at 4. This was just something we arranged since it made sense, yet a lot of people are impressed that he is taking on so much. (That's a sad statement about fathers. Chris doesn't see anything strange about the situation.) I have to say that I'm very thankful he has a flexible schedule and we're in a position where this is possible. I'm glad he is willing to make scheduling work and that his work is able to accommodate it.

There have been quite a few weekends and evenings when I have been bogged down in homework. The boys have been really good about leaving me alone when I tell them I'm working on homework. They've maybe watched a little more tv than they should a few weekends when Chris was sick or out of town, but they have done such a good job of entertaining themselves.

I know I haven't always been the best company when we've visited with our parents. They've all been understanding when I've had to be unsociable to get some reading or an assignment done. Yes, I even brought homework to Thanksgiving.

My friends have also been very understanding with my absence the past few months. I feel like a hermit, though, and a bad friend.

Then there are the professors and other students. I really do try to apply feedback from my professors. I think I've learned quite a lot this semester. Both classes had group projects. For one class, we were able to coordinate via email and shared documents. I think we did a nice job working together and helping each other along on the project. For the other class, we've had to arrange times to meet, something difficult to do with three different work/class/life schedules. It's been an adventure, and we'll find out how our project turned out this afternoon when we present.

I'm sure there are other folks I'm forgetting who have helped me through the semester. But I do appreciate every little bit, even if it's just being supportive. Those cheers do help. They give me the confidence that I can do this, even when I'm feeling lost and over my head.

So thank you, all you lovely people.

Representation matters

Off and on over the last week, I've had this conversation, sometimes with myself, sometimes with others. It feels like one long conversation that ebbs and flows.

Yes, it's about representation.

What started this particular conversation was the story spreading through Facebook about Dr. Myiesha Taylor, an African American female physician who loves the Disney show Doc McStuffins and who Doc's mother has been named after.  The news is old, but making the rounds again.

Doc McStuffins is one of the shows my boys like to watch. They have never been bothered that the main character is a girl. They don't care that she is black. They just like the show. They like seeing how she fixes the toys.

Representation matters. There are many, many articles that talk about how important it is for kids to see people like themselves on tv, in movies, even in books. (See here, here, here, here, and here for just a few.)

I think it's pretty obvious that little girls seeing women in positions of power, or even just as human characters, is important. The same with minorities (ethnic, sexual, etc) seeing characters like themselves that are not caricatures.

Whoopi Goldberg pretty famously looked up to Nichelle Nichols, realizing that black women could be anything after seeing Lt. Uhura on Star Trek.

But it's also important for people to see characters unlike themselves. Hollywood seems to have a tough time making movies with female protagonists that aren't romances. Forget about any non-white protagonists! Video games seem to have a similar problem. The excuse always seems to be that they aren't marketable. That audiences won't be able to identify with a hero who is not a white male.

And yet, a large portion of audiences already have to identify with protagonists who don't look like them, namely anyone who is not a white male. But white men are apparently so fragile they can't be expected to identify with any character that doesn't look exactly like them.

How insulting.

Chris and I have consciously tried to expose the boys to media with female protagonists and non-white protagonists. We look for books and shows with diverse characters. It's not always easy, but we try.

We also talk about the characters they see on tv. We ask them if the characters they see match up with the world around them. We live in a very white state, but they go to a school with a significant international population, so they recognize that not everyone looks like them. They notice when movies and tv shows have all male casts and know that women are half the population.

We think that's important. It's important because they live in a world with an incredible amount of diversity. They see and will see a lot of people not like them. And they need to have empathy and be able to understand that different lived experiences create different perspectives.

We want them to live in a world that is better than the one we live in now. The first step is spending a short amount of time seeing the world through someone else's eyes, even if only for 22 minutes while watching a tv show. Recognizing the humanity in other people creates a bridge to understanding.

Understanding and compassion. Empathy.

Representation matters.

Remembrance

I woke up this morning thinking about my grandpa Gus, and two of my great-grandpas, Thomas Patrick and Ernie.

Gus Caponi, WWII

 We've been working on genealogy off and on for a number of years, but I hadn't really looked at the family tree much recently. But Saturday, when Chris's parents were here, he wanted to show them a few neat things he had found, so we pulled up our tree on Ancestry. And down the rabbit hole we went.

Ernest Simpson, WWI

Add to that looking through old family photos last week, picking a selection to share with Sam's teacher (they are learning how things change and I have a LOT of old photos with old cars, old tvs, old clothes....). You can see why the past has been on my mind. 

And then today is Veterans' Day. 

Thomas Patrick Cuber, WWI

Both of my grandfathers served in WWII. Two of my great-grandfathers served in WWI. There have been one or two others in my family, like Gus's brother (more than one brother?). But military service hasn't been a big thing in my family, unlike Chris's family.

Thomas Cuber, WWII

Chris can trace his line back to the 1600s, to the first surviving white child born in the colony of Rhode Island. There have been many with military careers on his side of the family, dating back to the Revolutionary War. His father and grandfather both served in the Air Force.

I've always appreciated the folks who choose to serve. But those of my ancestors who served did so at times when the majority of the country was involved. They fought in the Great War, in the World Wars. 

But I woke up this morning thinking about Gus, and Ernie, and Thomas Patrick. Their pictures have been floating in my mind. We attended the Veterans' Day program at the boys' school, where each grade sang a patriotic song. The relatives attending who are veterans or current military were asked to come to the front and be recognized. A service medley was played on the piano as they walked to the stage, and their kids joined them. 

And it hit me in the feels. 

Thank you to all the service members, past, present, and future.