Simple isn't always easy

I've found myself talking about simple choices a lot lately. We all make choices in life, whether big or small, about how we will deal with situations. We can be proactive or reactive. We can bury our heads in the sand and pretend nothing is happening, letting events roll over us. We can take the high road or the low road.  There are a lot of ways to dealing with the lemons life has a habit of dealing out. 

So I found myself telling first one friend and than another in the last few weeks that they had chosen happiness; it wasn't easy, but it was as simple as that. And I think a lot of people forget that. Simple isn't easy. Easy isn't simple. 

So, if you chose the happy ending, fighting the obstacles, no matter what they are, kudos to you. Practice makes it easier; remember that the easy path is often the one with the tough consequences and the tough path is the one with better ending. 

For those ladies who are making those tough choices (and to the ones I don't know about), you are doing the right thing and don't let anyone tell you differently. You are amazing and strong. Tell your stories; you can help others by being truthful and honest. And I am always here if you need and ear or a shoulder. 

Writers with Moxie and Determination

My writing group is a great group of women. We had our second official meeting last night, where we commented and critiqued each other's work. This week, four of us submitted chapters.

I really appreciate the feedback I get. I submitted 3 (short) chapters and there were some good questions asked. Questions for me tell me if I am telling the story I think I am. If the questions are things I answer later, I'm doing my job right. If not, maybe I need to change something. But so far all the questions are the ones I hope readers have at this point.

The group also asked for more dialogue, more character development, which is something I know I need to work on. While this 2nd draft is much better than the first, it's going to take hard work to flesh things out the way they need to be. My writing style has usually been "sweet and to the point". Drawing things out is a challenge, but it's a good one. I really like my story and think it has been well-received. I think it has a future. If I can polish it the way it needs to be polished.

And of course I still need a title.....

There are eight in our group, although only six of us attend regularly (sometimes it's hard with kids and husbands who work crazy hours.) Not everyone has something to submit each month. But the really exciting thing is that we are all doing something different. We have so far one memoir (truly fascinating!), two very different sci-fi pieces, a romance novel, a humorous fantasy short story, and my fantasy novel and very short play.

I've enjoyed each and every piece and we all have different voices along with our different genres. I look forward to our meeting each month.

I am a feminist

I guess that's pretty obvious to anyone who knows me. But it's time to think about what being a feminist means to me.

First, I want equal rights for women. Don't fool yourselves: we don't have equal rights. The ERA (Equal Rights Amendment) is still not part of the constitution; women still don't get paid the same for doing the exact same job; some companies still discriminate against women, especially married women, assuming that they are on the baby track.

I want women to have equal opportunities. I want women not to be judged by whether they are married or not, whether they have kids or not, whether they fit some arbitrary definition of beauty. Things like this should not be happening. If we're going to bring marital status into a political debate, then let's open the discussion up to those who are on their second, third, fourth spouse.

I want women to stop fighting amongst themselves when we make different choices. There is no one right choice. There's what's right for each of us. I want it to be ok for a woman, or a man for that matter, to take time off from work to raise children without being looked down on for not being 'modern' enough. I want it to be as ok for a woman as it is for a man to NOT stay home and to keep working.

I want women to have equal access to good health care. That doesn't always happen, especially with the current legislative assault (both nationally and in Indiana and other states) on Planned Parenthood and other providers of women's healthcare. And let's not forget most clinical trials and research for diseases, new medications and other treatments have typically used male subjects and just been extrapolated for women, often with disastrous results.

Equal rights for women doesn't take anything away from men other than maybe some privilege. And I don't see a problem with that. If someone gets extra privileges, it should be because they have earned them, not because of an accident of birth like being born male, white, or rich.

I want it not to be ok for women to be treated like property, not even in movies and tv. I want the culture of rape to not be implicitly accepted. I want my sons to grow up respecting women.