Losing community (or, what's wrong with Meetup's redesign)

Meetup.com made some changes to their design recently. The vast majority of feedback I have seen has been negative - just about everyone hates it. I don't think the negative response is just because things change. I really think it is because the changes are bad.

• First, the front page of each group is now a list of upcoming meetups in a HUGE font. Scrolling waaaay down, past the next five meetups, you can find recent activity (message board discussions, new members). The old format had a column with recent activity and a column featuring the next meetup and listing the next few and last few. 

Why is the new format bad? In my opinion, firstly, it is ugly. Secondly, I find this method of displaying upcoming meetups unwieldy and not very useful. Thirdly, it is too easy to miss recent activity with it buried waaaay at the bottom of the page. Just to highlight, in the Hoosier Mamas, I am not planning to attend any of the next 5 meetups. Displaying all that information front and center is useless to me.

• Let's talk about the calendar. I'm sure some of my web designing friends can comment intelligently on this and even cite reputable information, but here is my aggravation. Once I navigate away from the front page, to find the calendar of events, I click a link in the left-hand column. If I want to navigate to any other pages I frequent (message boards, photos), I click on links at the TOP of the page. Why? Why are the menus split? This is not user-friendly. I think it is poor design. Either put them all on the left or all on the top. (Thankfully they have reverted to displaying 2 months on the calendar view after complaints about a single month view.

• RSVP's are not as useful as they used to be. We used to have the option of responding 'maybe', a very useful option when your group is full of moms with young children. The organizers used to have the ability to decide if a meetup could have only 'yes' or 'no' responses or if 'maybe' is viable. Now, Meetup has taken that flexibility away. 

• Also in RSVP's, once a meetup with a limited number of spaces is full, the only option appears to be the waitlist. If I don't plan to attend a full meetup, I have to put myself on the waitlist and then update to no. I no longer have the option of choosing either waitlist or no from the beginning. Why? Why would they take that away? I don't want to receive update emails about a meetup I'm not going to. I also like to see a clean calendar (yes, I'm a little OCD that way) so I hate seeing meetups I haven't responded to. I WANT to say no. Now I have to trick the system to do so. 

• A final part of the redesign I don't like and which has caused problems: automatically including a Google map of the location with each meetup. At first blush, that seems like a great idea. Until you realize that sometimes Google maps is wrong. I know of several addresses which don't display correctly on Google maps but do on Mapquest. Forcing what may be incorrect information right onto the front page is problematic. Better to make that an option.

It seems as if TPTB assume every group functions the same way and that just isn't the case. I'm sure the logic behind some of the changes is that this site is called Meetup and the meetups should be the prominent feature. But a large part of our group (and I would guess many groups) is the sense of community. We are losing that by forcing it to be all about the physical gatherings at the expense of discussions and welcoming new members to the fold. 

Besides making for an ugly and less useful site, the redesign actually takes something vital away. They have broken something that didn't need fixing. And from the responses I've seen on the forums, they have no desire to listen to complaints, even though one of the top requests is to have the option for a group to use either the new or old format. Is Meetup becoming the next Facebook in regards to poor customer relations? Seems that way.

Is breastfeeding overrated?

Today a friend shared an interview with the author of a new book about breastfeeding. The author, Joan B. Wolf, is an assistant professor at Texas A&M University.

I have not read the book, but the interview brings up some interesting points. I know a lot of breastfeeding advocates will be up in arms about this, but I think it is worth thinking about what she says.

Ms. Wolf states that studies linking breastfeeding to an amazing number of health benefits are misleading. I'm not going to try to rephrase her response (read the interview linked above). I have to say, she has a point about causal relationships. Without studying the data from the studies in question, if her assertion is true about the way research has been done, then questioning the results is valid. That is the point of science.

Breastfeeding is tough. Yes, it is natural. But that doesn't make it easy or instinctual. I've had experience with both a child who refused to nurse and one who was a natural.( For the record, my formula fed child weighs less and has fewer health problems than my breastfed child, who has asthma. So much for that bit of the benefits of breastfeeding.) Sometimes breastfeeding works beautifully and sometimes nothing will make it happen. And we mothers put guilt on ourselves and each other if we have problems.

We've been so brainwashed that we must breastfeed that we leave ourselves little choice if it doesn't work. It's very emotional to be a new mother. Not enough sleep, hormones running amok, sleep deprivation induced psychosis.... and then we have to be the sole food source for this tiny life.

It's rather like some of the phenomena noted in "The Feminine Mystique" by Betty Friedan. Mothers so need to be the 'perfect' mother, sacrificing everything for their child, that they can't admit there are other ways.

It's wonderful if someone can breastfeed, and enjoys it. But sometimes it doesn't work out, for whatever reason, and those mothers who can't or don't breastfeed are made to feel that they are bad mothers. They aren't. Formula these days is much better than it was when I was a child. Babies survive and thrive just fine on formula.

I just wish the guilt and judgement could end. We all do the best we can, choosing what is best for our families. Making women feel guilty is unproductive. We all want what is best for our children. Sometimes we can't give them the best so we give the best we can. And I think that's a big part of what this is about.

Maybe the best isn't what we have been told and maybe it is. But do we need untested claims? What purpose does it serve to make breast milk into the wonder food it is being described as? If the benefits of breastfeeding do turn out to be marginal, I think it would be healthier for society. My reasoning is this:

A lot of mothers will still choose to breastfeed because it is a free source of quality food for their babies. A lot of mothers will want to breastfeed because there is a trend toward natural products, etc (midwifery and cloth diapers are experiencing a resurgence). But those mothers who can't or don't want to breastfeed will feel less pressure and stress about their decisions and may have fewer mental health issues.

Kids' movies part 2

After my last post, I thought I should talk about a kids' movie that I think does things very well. It is so much easier to portray violence (it's easy and uncomplicated). Relationships are tough. So I really want to give kudos to "Cars".

What does "Cars" do really well? It builds relationships and friendships between and amongst the characters. It is obvious that the cars in Radiator Springs are friends. And Lightning McQueen learns about friendship throughout the movie. Starting with Mater's persistent and matter-of-fact overtures of friendship, McQueen sees that relationships can be generous and kind, that friends help each other, that competition and winning aren't everything.

McQueen sees the contrast between Chick's mean behavior causing accidents and the King's sportsmanship. He goes from lonely, not having any friends to invite to the big race, to having his new friends volunteer to help him as his pit crew simply because he needs them.

What better message could a movie give? Relationships take work, but they don't have to be hard. And "Cars" really shows that.