Pocketses: style and function

Women's clothing rarely comes with functional pockets these days. Most women I know have complained (probably at least weekly) about this frustrating truth. It's like designers hate women.

Actually, it's probably more that they don't think pockets (function) can co-exist with fashion (style). Because pockets would ruin the lines of the garment. Apparently.

Of course, my not-hanger-shaped body probably ruins the lines of the garment since clothes never look the same on than off.

But then there's the jacket. The gorgeous leather jacket found at Vintage Vogue (an upscale Goodwill). The jacket that is way cooler than I've ever been.

The jacket

The jacket is an Etienne Aigner, apparently a well-known designer/design house.

It has pockets. Lots and lots of pockets.

The "secret" pocket

The marked pocket

I owned the jacket for months before I realized that each side had 2 pockets. 

I probably used them all, but didn't realize that, along with the "marked" pocket (image on the left), there is another "hidden" pocket closer to the front (image on the right). And they are both deep, fully functional pockets

That's 2 functional pockets on each side. Four pockets! That actually fit hands, phones, and wallets. Because I've put all those things in the pockets, sometimes at the same time because I can. Because there are 4 outer pockets!

And then there's the inside pocket. Men may not realize, since this is a common feature of men's jackets, but I rarely find a women's jacket with an inside pocket. It's just the right size for a smart phone.

The inside pocket

All in all, there are 5, yes 5, pockets on this jacket. And not just 5 pockets, but 5 functional, useful pockets. And the jacket is still beautiful. Even better, I feel awesome when I wear this jacket.

I have an awesome husband

Today I met two friends, also mothers of young children, for lunch. We try to do this once a month, usually when all the kids are in school so we can have grown-up talk.

It almost didn't happen this time. The boys have both been home sick all week. One of the women was also dealing with a sick child (he's feeling better and back in school today). The other friend was sick last week....

When Chris came home last night, I told him I had canceled my lunch plans because the boys would be home once again. He looked at his schedule for today and told me to email back that I'd be there - as long as I could get him back to work by 1:30.

He squeezed in coming home for lunch today, between meetings, because he wanted me to be able to go to lunch.

Yep, he rearranged his schedule as much as possible because having grown-up time and getting out of the house and friends are all important. Especially when I've been stuck in the house all week with sick kids. Who are feeling better today. I know this because they've been fighting. (It's been a rather quiet week around here. As much as I've enjoyed that, I am kind of glad for the battles because it means they feel more like themselves.)

Tonight I host this month's book club for my moms group. I scheduled this before Chris started learning the bagpipes. Yep, his bagpipe group meets on Thursday nights. And he's staying home so I don't have to deal with the kids while trying to have a discussion about this month's book (Circle of Friends by Maeve Binchy).

Can I point out that this is normal in our house? And I hope it is normal in other houses. That Dad stays home and parents while Mom goes out sometimes. Just like Mom stays home and parents while Dad is out at work or playing bagpipes. We both have things we like to do (I have my writing group and book club; Chris has his bagpipes and movie-making). We both make time for each other to pursue those interests. Sometimes there are time conflicts, in which case one of us changes plans or we hire a babysitter for the evening.

Because it's important.

I've heard other moms comment that Dad was home 'babysitting'. Or Mom cancels her plans when the kids are sick because, even though Dad will be home, she has to 'be there'. Those are things Chris and I have worked very hard to not have in our house. Chris doesn't babysit, he parents. And he would be insulted if you said he was babysitting. He can take care of sick kids just as well as I can (sometimes better since he deals with puke better than I do).

Besides being good for our relationship, I think it's good that our boys are seeing this too. They see that Daddy can take care of them. Yes, he does things differently than I do, but that's ok. He's showing the boys that men are capable. That being a dad is important. that kids aren't just for the women to deal with.

And that's the best lesson they could learn.

My Christmas playlist

I admit it: I have a lot of Christmas music. I like Christmas music. Some songs or albums have memories. Some I just like. Some are new discoveries. Some are golden oldies.

Albums:

• All-Star Christmas (various) I think this is the only album I have with "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Elmo & Patsy.
• Arthur Fiedler's Christmas Pops (Boston Pops Orchestra) Orchestras just have a way with Christmas music.
• A Charlie Brown Christmas (Vince Guaraldi) Is it even Christmas without Charlie Brown?
• Chex Holiday Classics vol. 3 (various) I got this one free in a Chex cereal box a number of years ago.
• The Chipmunk Song (The Chipmunks) This is the only song I have from their Christmas album. I generally find them annoying, but this one is a classic.
• A Christmas Album (Michael Crawford) He's best known for playing the Phantom in London and on Broadway. The man can sing.
• Christmas at Home (Donny Osmond) I admit I love Donny Osmond. Is that wrong? Some songs I've never heard anywhere else include "Who Took the Mary Out of Christmas" and "The Kid in Me". 
• Christmas Cheers (Straight No Chaser) The original group from IU, singing their a capella versions of Christmas songs, including the studio version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas".
• The Christmas I Love (André Rieu) I have fond memories of seeing André Rieu in concert with my grandma. He leads a fabulous Strauß orchestra.
• Christmas Songs of the Season (various) I don't know if they still do, but Kohl's used to sell a Christmas album every year to benefit their Kohl's Cares for Kids charity. This is the version from 2000. 
• A Christmas Together (John Denver and the Muppets) I so wish they would release the special this is from on DVD. I love this album. Some of my favorites include the medley with "Alfie, The Christmas Tree", "The Peace Carol", "The Twelve Days of Christmas" (one of few versions of this song I like), the story of "Silent Night" and they sing the first verse in the original German,  "When the River Meets the Sea", "The Christmas Wish".
• Elvis Presley Christmas Duets (Elvis and various) Just what it sounds like: artists did duets with recordings of Elvis.
• Elvis' Christmas Album (Elvis Presley) This is an older album that only has 12 songs. There used to be a lot of versions with the songs just in different orders.
• Get Music - Holiday (various) I got this free online years ago.
• Holiday Pops (Keith Lockhart and the Boston Pops Orchestra) I admit it: I'm a Keith Lockhart fan. 
• Holiday Sing Along with Mitch (Mitch Miller and the Gang) I grew up listening to this one. If you want a Christmas album with easy to sing along with tunes, this is the one to get. 
• Holiday Spirits (Straight No Chaser) Yep, I have both of their Christmas albums. Their version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is one of the few I like. (I hate that song.)
• If Every Day Was Like Christmas (Elvis) I'd have a "Blue Christmas" without Elvis, and this is his complete Christmas recordings. 
• Listen! It's Christmas (Johnny Mathis and CeCe Winans) This was offered by Hallmark a number of years ago. Johnny Mathis is another one I can't have Christmas without.
• Merry Christmas (Bing Crosby) When I bought the album, it was called Merry Christmas but is apparently now White Christmas. Bing is a classic. You can't have Christmas without Bing. Some songs here you won't hear elsewhere include "Christmas in Killarney" and "Mele Kalikimaka" and "Adeste Fideles" in the original French ("O Come All Ye Faithful"). And of course he does his most famous one: "White Christmas".
• Music of Christmas (IHM Choral) This is an album made by the choral group at my mom's high school. 
• Now That's What I Call Christmas (various) A mix of old and new - some of my favorites are Nat King Cole singing "The Christmas Song", Bing Crosby & David Bowie singing "Little Drummer Boy/Peace of Earth", John & Yoko and the Plastic Ono Band singing "Happy Christmas", "Merry Christmas Darling" by the Carpenters, Gloria Estefan's "Love on Layaway", Burl Ives singing "Holly Jolly Christmas"... I could go on.
• Platinum Christmas (various) Modern pop stars sing Christmas songs. 
• Snoopy's Christmas (The Royal Guardsmen) Snoopy faces the Red Baron on Christmas. It's a classic. 
• A Soap Opera Christmas (various) Essential for any soap fans from the mid-90s. 
• That Christmas Swing (Dave Williamson Big Band and Singers) I love big band music. I love swing music. I love big band swing Christmas music.
• These Are Special Times (Celine Dion) Yes, I have her Christmas album. Got a problem with that?
• Twisted Christmas (Bob Rivers) This is for when I need something irreverent. There are several albums in the series, but I only have the one. "Joy to the World" on electric guitar should be a classic. Seriously, that track alone is worth the album. One day I may pick up I Am Santa Claus if only for "O Little Town of Bethlehem" set to the tune of "House of the Rising Sun" (it fits perfectly, thus enhancing the irony.)
• Ultimate Christmas (The Beach Boys) Yep, love the Beach Boys. "Little Saint Nick" is now a classic, but it was on the young, hip side of this album (the other side is more traditional) when it was released.
• When My Heart Finds Christmas (Harry Connick, Jr.) My favorite original tracks are "When My Heart Finds Christmas" and "(It Must Have Been Ol') Santa Claus"
• 25 (Chicago) I love horn rock. Even at Christmas.

Amazingly, with 440 songs, there are still three albums I miss. Alabama Christmas and Christmas II, and Kenny Rogers Christmas were perennial favorites growing up and I still miss those. Maybe one day I'll have them. 

So what are your favorite Christmas songs and albums? Is there anything "must have" that's missing from my collection?

Giraffe cake adventure

Wil loves giraffes. This year for his birthday, he wanted a giraffe cake. As any good parent would, I searched online for a giraffe cake pan.

Did you know giraffe cake pans are hard to find? There is the Wilton generic animal face pan, which is discontinued, but still to be found on eBay. And you can download directions on how to decorate it as just about any animal, including giraffes.

But that wasn't good enough. Because Wil saw a full body giraffe cake pan and wanted that. So I ordered it.

Imagine my surprise when I saw how tiny the pan is.

Yep, I didn't read the description thoroughly. The cake pan is not much bigger than a cupcake. 

On to plan B. What can you do when you realize your cake pan is not right and the birthday party is in less than a week? Well, I could have ordered something else online and paid for express shipping. But I decided to be Creative!

What did I come up with, you ask? Cupcake giraffes. 

Cupcake giraffes.

The birthday boy loves them. He especially loves that there are two! And that he gets a tiny giraffe cake all to himself while the rest of us have cupcakes.

Decorating the giraffes was pretty easy. I used some yellow dye left over from a previous Wilton cake I did for the frosting. Chris added cinnamon spots because he mastered the shaking technique.  We lined them up in vaguely giraffe shape. The long necks are the key.

Will they win any decorating contests? Nope. But they won the only one that counts. I have a happy kid.

Oh, and the cake is spice cake with cream cheese frosting, which we chose as Wil's special cake for his first birthday and have done ever since. It's a nice fall cake. (Sam gets strawberry cake since that's a nice summer cake and he loves strawberries.) 

Phineas and Ferb philosophy of life

I downloaded the Phineas and Ferb soundtrack album (available on iTunes) and listen to it a lot. It's amazing how many good songs in such a variety of genres they can come up with. Ok, some are silly, but it's a great album and the kids like it too. I admit, I love that show. There is so much good about it, and it's been written about extensively, but the expanded theme song, "It's Gonna Be a Great Day" by Bowling for Soup, is a wonderful philosophy for life.

Here is the song, although the person who transcribed the lyrics made a few errors.

The chorus is fantastic:

"This could possibly be the best day ever.
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be
a million and six times better.

So make every minute count.
Jump up, jump in and seize the day.
And let's make sure that in every single possible way
Today is gonna be a great day!"

Seriously, go back and read that again.

Now go do it.

To my Valentine

Neither of us are huge Valentine celebrants. Small gestures each day say much more about our relationship than hearts and flowers once a year.

This year, we shared a heart shaped pizza from Mother Bears with the boys. At home. On Sunday (Chris has to teach tonight). It was a great low-key way to acknowledge the day. I mean, heart shaped pizza! Delivered to our door!

I don't need flowers (the cats would just eat them) or chocolates (my waistline doesn't need any help). I certainly don't need jewelry. Besides not wearing much, I'd rather not run up the credit card bill. Because nothing says "I love you" like going into debt we'll have to pay off for the rest of our lives together. (Hey, you take your romance where you can get it.)

That's not to say people shouldn't celebrate their romance. If you love Valentine's Day, go for it. But if you don't care, it's just another day. And this year, the first day to file federal taxes if you use certain forms. To me, that's a much better reason to celebrate.

Yep, I spent some time this afternoon filing our taxes. To me, that was worth celebrating. And we can celebrate ever more when our refund comes in. If anyone is looking for a free online filing site, try FreeFillableForms.

Ok, I will admit I made a Valentine that I tucked into Chris's laptop bag. I was helping the boys make Valentines; I really couldn't just ignore the crayons and construction paper, could I?

I think maybe Valentine's Day is more for kids than adults. It comes with too much pressure as you get older. The simple joy of a Valentine wears off as we get older. Somehow, the innocent no-strings-attached expression of love and caring gets put aside when we start to actually fall in love.

So here's a little poem for my Valentine.

I waited lots of years
to find my one true love.
You came along
quite by surprise
when I wasn't looking.
You've made my life
quite complete.
You are my best friend.
I can't imagine life
without you by my side.

Happy Thanksgiving

On this rainy, dreary Thanksgiving morning, I thought I would sit down and mention some of the things I am thankful for. 

First and foremost, I am thankful for my family. As much as they can drive me crazy, we have two beautiful boys who can be absolutely charming and cute. I have a wonderful husband who encourages me to pursue my passions. Neither of us is perfect, but I think we are pretty perfect together. We have great parents who are actually friends. No worrying here if someone will feel slighted. (How great is it that my mother-in-law invites my parents to Thanksgiving so we can all be together?) 

I'm so grateful that we are all more or less healthy. Yes, Sam has officially been diagnosed with asthma as of yesterday, but that is something minor in the grand scheme of things. He has only had symptoms when his lungs have already been taxed by a cold. 

I'm very thankful that Chris has a steady job and we haven't been overly effected by the recent financial problems. We can pay our bills each month, we have a roof over our heads, and we've only had to make minor adjustments in our budget.

I'm happy the tornado sirens at 5 o'clock this morning heralded a severe storm and any tornados missed us. 

We have many, many wonderful friends, and we are all very thankful to have each and every one. 

I'm thankful that the boys are growing up and gaining independence. Having one out of diapers and one working on potty training is amazing, especially after years of diapers. Being able to sleep a little longer in the morning because they can get up and play quietly is priceless.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Here's the story....

A number of years ago, as part of a secret Santa game at work, I decided what I really wanted was a housekeeper. I've finally come a big step closer: we have hired a cleaning service to come once a month to deep clean the house. I just need to keep it up in between.

Now, that seems like such a simple thing, but when your official job description is 'homemaker', there's a bit (or a lot) of guilt. After all, isn't that what I should be doing while I'm home with the kids all day? Except it isn't that easy. Between breaking up fights, keeping the boys entertained, and trying to clean without them getting into dangerous chemicals or breaking the vacuum, the house is never all clean on the same day. And a lot gets skipped, put off for another day....

Luckily, Chris is very supportive and was all for hiring help. Especially because we found a service that it very affordable (some cleaning services are way too expensive!) But it's still hard... until I realized that Carol Brady, that paragon of tv-mom-dom, had a full-time housekeeper with 6 school age kids old enough to help out. Seriously, if Mrs. Brady needed or just plain wanted help, I can too.

I hate cleaning. Yes, this is a splurge, but worth it to me. I can pursue things that make me happy like writing. Part of what spurred me to finally make the call was participating in NaNoWriMo. It's slow and I won't be done in the 30 days, but I'm enjoying trying to tell a story. I'd like to do more things like that.

Today was the first time they came to clean. It took 2 professionals nearly 3 hours (6 work hours) to clean the house completely. Seriously, if it took that long for them to thoroughly clean, how can I do it with 2 kids clinging to me, needing attention? I've already scheduled a date for next month. They did a great job. The mopped floors and the sparkling kitchen are totally worth it.

So, in a nutshell:

1) It's ok to hire a cleaning service. Mrs. Brady had a housekeeper.
2) It takes a lot of time for pros to do it. We can forgive ourselves for not having time.
3) Husbands: this is a great Christmas gift. Cleaning companies give free quotes. Merry Maids is expensive. Other companies are affordable.
4) You can have a cleaning company do as much or as little as you want. I have a thorough deep clean, but know several people who just have someone in to do the kitchen and bathrooms.
5) I love my new cleaning service!

On the importance of babysitters

Yesterday, my friend Anne and I were talking about the importance of having time away from our kids. This is a conversation that comes up from time to time amongst moms. There are some who seem to think wanting to be away from your kids is a terrible thing and means you aren't dedicated to being a parent. But I, and almost every parent I know, disagrees. And here are a few of the reasons why.

As a parent, my job is to foster self-reliance and eventual independence in my children. These are lessons they need to learn or they will never be able to go out on their own. If they have no idea how to survive in the world without me there, how will they be able to attend college? And get a job? And maybe get married, have their own kids?

Big life skill lessons are something that are good to start early. As toddlers and preschoolers, a few hours without mom and dad starts teaching them that they are independent beings and they are capable of playing and doing other things without me. Oh what a help that is at home! Once they begin to learn that lesson, they can play by themselves for a bit while I cook dinner or clean house. And I don't have multiple interruptions! If you just wait until they go to school, it will be much harder. The whole point is to establish 'normal' as 'mom and dad can go to a movie and they will still come home.'

It is also very important for mom to get away and develop her own interests. This isn't mean or selfish. To really truly teach your children to find their passions, you need to show them that you have some. Seeing mom and dad as people may not sink in when they are young, but they will be learning that lesson despite themselves. They will see what you are passionate about and maybe be interested in the same thing. Or not, but at least they see that having a hobby, something that interests you, is a good thing.

And here's a biggie: parents need to go out on dates, have time to develop their relationship as spouses. Yes, the kids go to bed and we have a couple of hours before we join the land of slumber. But that isn't the same. We're still parents, catching up on housework or just decompressing while the little ones fall asleep. A frightening number of marriages end in divorce after the kids leave the house because the parents realize they don't really know each other any more, they have nothing in common except the kids. Why does this happen? I think it's because they forget that the most important relationship they have is with each other. Yes, I am a mom. But the caretaking phase of that will only last another dozen or so years and in 16 more they will leave the nest. But I am and will still be a wife. And that's a good thing. That's what I signed on for 7 years ago.

In college, I did an experiment in a biology class that kind of relates. I had two plants. One had its basic needs met (sunlight, water). The other plant was pampered with extra nutrients, etc. Plant 1 did ok while plant 2 thrived under all that extra care..... until the experiment was over and they both got basic care. Plant 1 showed its mettle then. It had learned to help itself. While it wasn't as big as the other, it was slow and steady and reliable. Plant 2 withered under the lack of pampering. It hadn't developed the systems needed to take care of itself and support all the extra growth on its own.

While the analogy isn't perfect, think of all the young adults you know who have had everything handed to them, with mom and dad always coming to the rescue. Then they go to college and can't cope. They still need mom and dad to call the professor and explain why they didn't finish their homework. Or they fail because mom and dad finally cut those apron strings and don't help. Then think of all the other young adults who learned self-reliance. Those are the leaders who get stuff done and thrive on their own. They have the groundwork to support themselves.

So, here's the bottom line: take time out from your kids. It is healthier for you, for them, and for your marriage. It's ok to send them to preschool so you have a few hours on your own. It's wonderful for them to spend a weekend at grandma and grandpa's house (and what a way to develop that relationship!). Find a babysitter or a neighbor or a friend or join a babysitting co-op and have a mom's night out and a date night. Those are important and don't mean you don't love your kids. They mean you do love them and are doing your best for them.

Grandparents

Tonight is Wil's preschool end of year program. His class is singing one song. The play will be done by the pre-K class, which will also be 'graduating'.

Both grandmas and one grandpa will be coming to see the program (and have dinner) tonight. Unfortunately, Grandpa Tom has to work tonight. To some people, my mom driving 3 hours and my in-laws driving down from Indy to hear a grandson sing one song might be peculiar. But it will mean something to Wil that his grandparents were there. He doesn't really get that it's a long way for them to come. But he's excited they'll be there.

These are the moments that build the memories that last a lifetime. I remember my grandparents coming to concerts and shows. Granted, it was easy for my grandparents, living 20 minutes away.

I'm glad our kids have grandparents who are a big part of their lives. They love going to grandma and grandpa's house for the weekend (doesn't matter which, they love going to both sets.)

I just want to be me

I love my kids. But sometimes I feel stuck because of them.

When there are outside things I want to do, I have to find someone to watch them. It's great if Chris will be home, but with his crazy schedule that doesn't always work. And sometimes we want to get out together. It's wonderful that the grandparents are always willing and eager to take them for a weekend and give us a break, but that doesn't help during the week or when they just can't. So there are babysitters. And babysitters are expensive and have lives of their own.

When all those options pan out, guess who gets to stay home? Yep, Mommy.

Most of the time, we can work something out. But there are times when I can't do something I enjoy. Is it any wonder moms can sometimes feel trapped? I'm much more than just a mom and need to do things for myself.

When does Mommy end and Meagan start? In those moments when I can be a bit of who I was before I had kids - the person I still am when I'm not focused on that other person (Mommy).

I don't think I'm alone in feeling that need to connect with the non-mommy person inside. I need to read, and go out occasionally, and talk to grown ups, and learn new things for the heck of it or my brain and spirit atrophy. And spirit is important for a parent to have. I can't inspire my boys if I can't be inspired myself. It's rather like the instructions on an airplane: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others - because you can't help anyone until you can help yourself.

There are a few things I really try to do: I try to attend book club each month. I read like crazy, in whatever spare moments I can. I do the crossword and Sudoku puzzles every day. I like to go to Moms Night Out when I can. I enjoy planning with Starrynight Productions (and am bummed that I will likely miss the script reading in a few weeks.) I wish I could have joined the Bike and Pedestrian Safety Commission, but Chris's class has been on Monday nights, the night the commission meets, for the last couple of semesters.

I know it will get better as the boys get older. Next fall, both boys will be in preschool 2 days a week, so I will have 5 hours, twice a week, to do something for myself. In a few years they will both be in school every day (and it will be my turn to get a Master's degree.) It has already helped that we have found a couple of reliable babysitters. It'll be wonderful in the fall after Chris's mom retires since she will be more available for weekends (we will really try not to take advantage!).

100

This is the 100th post on this blog, so I thought I would try to post 100 things to smile about.

1. The earth is still rotating around the sun.
2. Babies are cute.
3. Babies grow up.
4. Cold weather kills bugs: notice mosquitos the size of dinner plates and malaria don't exist in Indiana.
5. Snow is beautiful (until you have to drive in it.)
6. Bloomington is a beautiful town.
7. Netflix.
8. Good friends who help us when we need it.
9. There are garbage men who collect our trash.
10. Polka bots, argyle and plaid, just not together.
11. Steak 'n' Shake - steakburgers and shakes.
12. Washable markers.
13. Sidewalk chalk.
14. Groundhogs in the backyard.
15. The end of the semester.
16. Hot chocolate.
17. Elvis. 
18. The Beatles.
19. ABBA.
20. Queen.
21. Skype, email, Facebook to stay in touch.
22. "Phineas and Ferb".
23. Kittens.
24. Puppies.
25. Babysitters.
26. Spending the day in pajamas just because.
27. Pizza. Especially really good pizza.
28. Old friends.
29. New friends.
30. Having no plans for the weekend.
31. Going  to the zoo.
32. Watching a child open a present.
33. Tahiti.
34. A cruise.
35. Taking the long way home.
36. Driving in the country.
37. The mountains.
38. Christmas morning.
39. Making a snow man.
40. "A Charlie Brown Christmas".
41. The first warm day after a long winter.
42. A perfect sunny Saturday.
43. Finding $20 in your pocket.
44. A massage.
45. Hearing a child giggle.
46. Wookies.
47. Muppets.
48. "Daddy fix."
49. The students leave for break next week.
50. Pixar.
51. Indoor plumbing.
52. Electricity.
53. Cookies. 
54. Ice cream., especially on a hot day.
55. Homemade lasagna.
56. Good neighbors.
57. Families that get along.
58. Curly hair.
59. Not having to make dinner.
60. Going to bed early.
61. A good book.
62. A cat purring on your lap.
63. Luke is Leia's brother.
64. Orion disappearing from the night sky.
65. "The Philadelphia Story".
66. "MythBusters".
67. Sleeping in.
68. A beautiful sunrise or sunset.
69. Hearing a joyful "Mommy!" when picking up Wil from school.
70. Getting the kids in bed early.
71. Having the car in the garage on a cold, snowy day.
72. Heated seats.
73. Roasting marshmallows.
74. Both kids napping at the same time.
75. "I love you Mommy."
76. Fitting into my skinny jeans.
77. Date night!
78. Finding Sam's blanket and bink.
79. British comedies.
80. Reruns of old shows on cable or the net.
81. Listening to the boys play.
82. Little kid voices.
83. J. D. Robb books.
84. A balanced checkbook.
85. Old fashioned block parties.
86. Game night.
87. Chris coming home early.
88. "10 Things I Hate About You".
89. Christmas specials.
90. Sunny evenings in summer.
91. Chocolate.
92. Going down a slide.
93. Having kids is a great excuse to play.
94. Great sci-fi shows.
95. Harry Potter.
96. A cozy roof over our heads.
97. Snuggling in bed on a cold morning.
98. Holidays with family.
99. Taking a long walk.
100. Chris.

Christmas memories

'Tis the season, so I've been thinking about Christmas. There are 23 days until the big day, and a lot to do in between. I'm almost done shopping. I used to finish before Thanksgiving, but that's a dream these days. I have a cookie exchange coming up, plus baking cookies to give to neighbors and friends. And I still need to do most of my decorating, including the tree.

The best Christmas present I ever received was when Wil was a month old.  I asked for a night of sleep and my mom came through. She got up at night with him, giving him a bottle, so I could get 8 hours of sleep. Talk about proof that the best gifts don't need to cost a lot, or even anything.

We're pretty lucky. Our families don't pressure us about the holidays. My parents celebrate with us and my sister's family the weekend after Christmas. That makes it easy for us to spend the actual day with Chris's family and my sister to see her in-laws. My parents usually spend the day with my mom's brothers in Chicago. My mom chose to do things this way specifically so there was no arguing and we can put it on the calendar each year. We always know what our plans will be! Thanksgiving is often with both families since they get along so well. This year was no exception. It really helps to have parents who like each other and don't see holiday time as a competition.

Barring illness, which kept us home last year, this should be a really fun year for Christmas. The boys are both old enough to enjoy opening presents. Wil is somewhat aware and Sam just likes presents.

The joy of a pile of leaves

I raked leaves in most of the back yard late this afternoon, with 'help' from the boys. They had a lot of fun playing in the piles.

Watching them have such fun made raking a lot of leaves more enjoyable. There were a lot fewer than before we took down the rotting maple (I'd say about 1/3 as many).

They had so much fun sitting in the leaves, getting dirty and damp, not worrying about bugs. There is such joy in that innocence and naivete that we lose as we grow older and think about all the possible icky things (or dangers if we extrapolate).

Having kids is a great reminder that clothes clean and so do we. Enjoying the moment is something I would like to strive to do more. We have a pretty good life and are learning to be satisficers rather than perfectionists, so I think that will help. But one of the best ways I know is to look at the world through the eyes of a child. It's a cliche because it's true.

Moments

Here are just a few moments from today:

Sam was crying earlier and Wil told him, "Sam, no cry baseball." Translation: "Sam, there's no crying in baseball." We've used that quote from "A League of Their Own" for years (Grandpa Tom started it when my niece was a baby) and Wil knows it now.

It was time for Wil to go to bed, but he wanted a piggy back ride upstairs, so he climbed up on the couch, behind Chris, and hopped on. He giggled the whole way up, and was happy getting in bed.

I picked up strawberries at the grocery store today. Sam turned and reached back for them, then proceeded to chew on the plastic clam shell through the whole store. Later when I got a few out, he cried while I cut them because I wasn't giving them to him fast enough. The boy loves strawberries.

And I have decided what kind of cupcakes he's getting for his 1st birthday. We do spice cake for Wil, because that is a great cake and very autumnal. I love spice cake and Wil seems to like it too, so that's what he gets until he chooses a favorite. Looks like Sam will be getting strawberry, which is appropriately summery.

A trip to the zoo

We took the boys to the Indianapolis Zoo yesterday. Chris's parents joined us there, and a fun time was had by all.

Some highlights:

•  wild monkey sex (fans of J.D. Robb will appreciate the humor, but a couple of gibbons decided to have some morning delight) 
• Wil enthralled with giraffes
• Sam watching Mommy enjoy the dolphin show
• Grandma and Grandpa spending time with the boys 
• Wil startled by penguins swimming under his feet
• watching a baby elephant take a drink
• seeing a Scottish highland cow:

              

Sometimes, it's the small things. More pictures are, of course, posted on the boys' website. 

Don't worry, be happy

Is it possible to will yourself to be happy? Is the power of positive thinking real? Yes, I think so. I know this post will ramble, but will hopefully make sense. And this is not to say that happy pills don't work, because they do. And sometimes you need help, but sometimes you can help yourself too.

Something I don't talk about much is a journey of self-discovery I took between 8th grade and freshman year in high school, but I think it is something important to share. I had a miserable time in school (school was fine, but the kids were awful. It's amazing how cruel kids can be.) So, I spent a summer really learning to like myself and decided not to care what others thought. I decided to see things positively rather than negatively. And that makes it sound really easy, but it's actually something I am still working on, 20 years later. It's a lifelong journey, and something that needs to be practiced every day.

I think if I hadn't, I could have been a statistic, but that's just not my style. I prefer to solve problems rather than create more. 

Anyway, here are a few things I think are a good place to start if you want to try to embrace happiness:

1) Can you look at yourself in a mirror and really say, "I like the person I see"? Try it. Try to become the person you want to see in the mirror. It may take a long time or it may be easy, but you have to like yourself.

2) Maybe it's the scientist in me, but the glass is full, half just happens to be air. There is always a way to look at something, even the worst thing, and find something good. Even if that something good is simply that you survived. I truly do believe that what doesn't kill us does make us stronger. 

3) The power of positive thought really does work; just give it a try. When you look in the mirror, tell yourself that you are happy and eventually you will believe it and eventually it will be true.

4) When you can either laugh or cry, laugh. Crying just makes your eyes red. 

5) Although sometimes you need to cry. I read in a book once that people are like radiators: sometimes you have to let off steam or you explode. It's ok to be angry or sad or whatever, but then you have to get over it. Seriously, being unhappy is depressing. It feels bad. I'd much rather be happy. It took a lot of years, but I'm getting pretty good at it.

6) One of my mother-in-law's sayings is, "It is what it is." When you can really learn to accept that things are what they are, it is very freeing. Sometimes you can do something about it, and sometimes you can't, but accepting the way things are is the first step. 

Do I know all the answers? No. Do I have my days where I get depressed or feel angry or whatever? Absolutely. Can I get past that and not let it control my life? I think so. I've done a pretty good job so far. But, it's a never ending quest and it takes a lot of practice.

So what's great in my life? I have a wonderful husband (who isn't perfect, but does a pretty good job of making me happy, so is perfect for me). We have 2 great sons. We have a nice house, in a great neighborhood, that suits us. We can pay our bills. I have some really wonderful friends.